I shot these photos roughly 4 months ago and couldn’t get myself to publish them, let alone look at them. It took me weeks to edit; one image alone would end up testing my mental fortitude, and I often found myself fighting a losing battle before even starting.
To preface, I went into the day of the viewing with the intention of not taking any photos. I wanted to be respectful and really allow myself to feel all of the emotions I was feeling, but as the day progressed, I was so overwhelmed with a slew of sadness, anger (towards myself), and regret, and I needed to channel that destructive energy into something creative. I also knew that I would have regretted it if I didn’t. These photos, to me, encapsulate the different ways we react, experience, and live with grief. It is vulnerability captured at its most raw, intimate, and private form.
To my family whose emotional capacity have been immortalized in these images that I’ve selfishly decided to throw out onto the internet, I apologize, but this moment, I felt, was deserving of a space where y’all could stop by, stay a little, and leave at your own leisure, within your own terms. I hope, if anything, that this can bring you the healing you may need when you need it even if and when you think you don’t need it.
“Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it.” – Joan Didion
This series is dedicated to my grandmother.
As always, thanks for stopping by.